6 AM
by JKJOKER
Summary: Jade has hit rock bottom, but the only person who seems to care is...Tori? The road to recovery is not easy and these girls will travel it together, even if they don't realize it at first. Drugs, depression, and sex are involved.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own victorious

Chapter 1: Heart Failure

What the fuck! I look like shit, feel like shit, and act like a total ass to everyone; it's fucking retarded. Everything about my life is completely upside down and I can't do jack shit about it.

I'm not proud of the person I'm becoming. Hell, I wasn't even proud of the person I was before, but this is worse. This person I see in the mirror disgusts me to no end. From the hollow eyes to the lifeless skin tone, I've completely turned into a monster. At least now I'm just like everyone else though. Yea, imagine that...the infamous Jade West happy to be like everyone else; to be part of the in-crowd. Funny...so fucking funny.

It's started a little over three months ago really. That day changed everything.

_**(flashback)**_

"Senior year baby!" Cat screamed at the top of her lungs. Her arms flagged above her as we sped down the highway in my dad's convertible. Vega erupts in giggles which happen to sound particularly annoying to me.

"Vega?"

"Yes, Jade." She all but shouts over the wind.

"Why the fuck are you here?" I practically growl at her. It's not that I hate Vega, I just find her to be so annoying. She's either stealing my roles or acting like a complete idiot. She's almost as dumb as Cat is.

"Jesus Jade it's been a year and a half! I know we don't get along but come on! What did I ever do to you?" She demands, clearly bewildered by my dislike of her.

I only laugh at her misery and drop the entire conversation; I'm just not in the mood to argue with the crazed brunette.

After about a minute of my silence she finally figures out that I don't have anything to say to her. With a bit if a humph she flops back into the passenger seat, gazing to her right like nothing happened.

Technically nothing really did happen, I just put her peppy ass in a rightful place. For some reason she's got a damn stick up her ass because she can't be everyone's best friend. That's the thing I've noticed about Vega; if she's not stealing the spotlight, she's seeking the acceptance of some random soul. Pathetic. She's nothing more than pathetic.

Allow me to explain; I firmly believe that people should not seek to be desirable to other people. It's just fucking wrong; it's also why I'll never change myself to fit any standard. It's absolutely pointless if you lose yourself along the way. Eventually you'll end up as some cracked out whore who doesn't understand anything.

A high pitched "Jade!" rips me out of my previous thoughts.

"Fuck Cat, what!"

"Oooooh you said a bad word." Cat teases while she points at me from the backseat like a five year old. I can see the smile on Vega's face appearing.

"First off, I'm trying to fucking drive and second stop acting like were in the second grade. What do you want?" I bark, hopeful to get this over with as soon as possible.

"André called, he said there's a party tonight in the hills. I think we should go!" She babbles excitedly.

"Whose going?" I ask raising a skeptical eyebrow. I'm all for parties, but whoever shows up better be chill.

"Basically everyone from HA and whoever they invite."

"Oh so it's one of those parties." I boost with a mischievous grin.

Both Cat and Vega reply with a "yup", popping the P to just piss me off.

The rest of the ride back from the beach is pretty normal. There's idle chatter between Cat and Vega, and I occasionally add a comment or two. I drop the pair at their respective houses and head home to prep myself for the night.

Around 9, Beck picks me up.

"Hey babe." He greets with his typical sexy grin. If I didn't see him every damn day, I would still go weak at the knees like the first day I met him.

"Hey Beck." I reply back, very cool, very relaxed.

"Hiiiii Jade!" Cat buzzes as I enter the cabin of his pick-up. I acknowledge her with a curt nod and take a seat next to Beck. We pick up the remaining members of our crew and head to the party.

When we get there the party is just picking up. The entire house-more like a mansion- is alive with slightly buzzed teenagers.

"Robbie go get me some punch, please!" Cat requests the minute we enter the house. Robbie disappears along with André and Beck.

"So what do we do now?" Vega inquires over the blaring music.

"What the fuck do you think Vega! We're gonna get wasted and grind on strangers!" I snap back. Although I was completely harsh, Cat found my statement to be very funny. Honestly she's only giggling because she knows it's true and she's done it a dozen times.

"Dammit Jade I was just asking." She retorts. She looks down in embarrassment, which causes me to smile. It's just funny to me.

"Whatever Vega." I purr with a triumphant smile.

Once the boys return we quickly down our illegal beverages and scurry to the dance floor. With alcohol pumping through our veins we let ourselves go and follow the music.

Around 11:30, Vega leaves the floor along with Cat and André. Robbie is quick to follow.

"Where are they going?" I inquire to Beck.

"Does it matter?" He states with a sly grin. Skillfully, he lowers his head and indulges me with his lips. He tastes like cigarettes and mountain dew; something that really should work, but it's oh so addicting.

"Ah yo, Vega left." André calls over the music, disturbing Beck and I from our passionate activities.

"Why do I fucking care?" I snap, absolutely irritated. Beck places a hand on my shoulder and looks down at me. There's something in his eyes. He's planning something; something crazy and cunning.

"Fuck yea! Now the real party can start." Beck calls back with a mischievous glint in his amber eyes. And that's when he brought out the gear.

_**(Back to the present)**_

It was the first time I ever did a hardcore drug. Sure I had smoked weed, but who hasn't. He encouraged me to do it too; everyone did. They said I would feel better and I did. It was the first time I was numb, yet fully aware. At the time it was amazing, and then I came down from the high. I felt fucking terrible; all I wanted was to feel that high again. So I did it again, and again, and again. That's why I'm here now. Standing in the girl's bathroom, looking in the mirror, contemplating if I should do this again.

"Just do it." I whisper to myself. I've gone from the strongest bitch in the school to being a pathetic shell of a person who is desperate for drugs. Why did this happen?

"Why?" I ask myself this every day. Why? Why? Why?

"Fuck it." I plunge the needle into my forearm and waited to feel the pain slip away into nothing-ness. Everything fades as the poison circulates through my body. Slowly I extract the needle and dive into pure bliss.

I don't notice her until it's too late.

"What the fuck Jade!?"


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious

Chapter 2: Caught

Tori P.O.V.

"Mmmm...Ryder..baby stop." I incoherently mumble through embarrassing moans. Slowly, ever so slowly, he detaches his lips from my neck only to launch a ravishing attack on my lips. In an instant he forces his tongue into my mouth, elating an involuntary moan from me. Ryder may be a total asshole but he knows what he's doing.

"Come on lets go to my place." He states catapulting me back to reality. With my pitiful amount of strength I push his strong body off of mine.

"I'm not going anywhere with you." I whisper sounding extremely unconvincing. Basically I've given up on trying to convince myself that I don't want Ryder because I'm tired of lying.

With a cocky grin Ryder wraps his left arm around my waist, pulling me flush to him.  
"We both know that isn't true." He reinforces his words with a nibble on the spot behind my ear. Again I can't help the moan that escapes my throat. "It's fine Tori, we can just do it right here." his eyes darken and turn mischievous as he pulls away slightly to examine my body.

"Dream on pretty boy, I'm not doing anything with you in here." I may be extremely hormonal but there's no fucking way I'm doing it with this douchebag in the janitor's closet. I have some standards.

"Then let's fucking leave!" he demands, the lust fading from his eyes and being replaced with anger.

"Don't get loud with me!" I bite back. Although his anger doesn't fade, he places a mock smile on his face.

"Tor...Can we just skip the fight and get to the loving part?" He gently coos moving closer to me. My immediate reaction is to step back, but a wall blocks my path. "You look so stressed, I just want to help" His predatory eyes lock with my naive ones and I'm frozen.

"Ryder..." I whisper with shaky breath. "I don't...I don't want this." I turn my head away from him, shattering his rapacious control.

"Tori stop being a fucking pussy!"

"Really Ryder, you want me to stop being a fucking pussy. Are you fucking sure because that's all you want!" Anger boils my blood.

"That's not all I want." He retorts with fake gentleness while stroking my arm lightly, almost lovingly.

"You're unbelievable." I push him off me. "Leave me the fuck alone." I march past him and throw open the door, leaving without a seconds hesitation.

"A que chirlo, hostia!" I mutter under my breath.

"What was that Tori?" A charming, baritone inquires from behind me. Although the voice is familiar, it elates a squeal from me.

"Ohh h-h-hey Beck." Really Beck? You couldn't bother me at some other time.

"Why so jumpy kid? And why were you in the janitor's closet?" His bronze locks hang lazily over his equally bronze eyes, although they have slight red tint. His chiseled features contort to accustom a weak smile.

"It's just really early; that's all." Straight up lied, but it doesn't matter I need to get away from him. "Sorry Beck but I have to go..." He lifts a scrutinizing eyebrow "...Wazz." Hijo de puta Madre. Always has pop up at the worst time.

"What about the closet?" He beckons after me.

"Don't worry about it." I call over my shoulder. Bye Beck!"

I speed to the bathroom only to be caught by a giggling flash of red.

"Hiiiii Tori!" The ball of red velvet squeals.

"Hi Cat." I states returning the small girl's hug.

"I'm so excited for this weekend!" She continues to squeal. I raise an eyebrow.

"What's happening this weekend?"

"Umm Ryder's sister is having a party, duh." Cat explains making me feel like an idiot. I remember Ryder talking about the party, but I don't want to go anywhere near him. I can't.

"Oh yea, I forgot...so have fun with that." I try to walk past her towards the bathroom, but she blocks my path.

"You're not going?" She inquires with a sullen look. Her frown and lack of erratic bouncing makes her almost seem like an actual high school senior not a 6th grader.

"I don't think so Cat. I don't want to party this weekend." I admit. Although it's a half-truth Cat buys my she continues with her persuasive attack.

"But it's going to be fun. We can drink and dance."

" That sounds nice and all but I don't think I'm up for it this weekend. Why don't you ask Jade to come with you or something?" Cat's blazon smile falls at the mention of Jade.

"I don't want to be with her. She always disappears." Cat mopes.

"Disappears?"

"Yeah..." Cat replies with a grim look on her face. I place my hand on her shoulder and squeeze just enough to let her know everything is okay.

"Cat, what do you mean she disappears?" I give her a reassuring smile.

" She leaves me then shows up a few hours later. She looks really weird and she doesn't act like herself." I gasp.

"Jade no being cruel and angry, what a tragedy!" Cat giggles at my joke, but remains sullen for the most part.

" Tori." She whines. " It's not funny. Jade's my best friend, but she's been so distant recently; it's scary."

" I know kitty cat but don't worry she's probably just going through a phase." Cat looks up at me with wonder and confusion and fear all at the same time. Her eyes are brimming with tears, but she is unwilling to shed them; she's too strong for that.

As my heart shreds for this poor red head I envelop her in a tight hug.

" Cat I promise you everything will be okay. If you want someone to go with you to keep you and Jade safe I'll be there." Damn my compassion, always fucking up my pride. But it's for Cat and I'll do anything to keep the little red- head bubbly; she's the only thing that keeps me sane. Makes no sense but it's true.

"Thank you Tori!" Cat squeals with joy. Just as she opens her mouth to add something else the bell interrupts her. " Oh well I gotta go. See you later Tori!" With a sigh, not sure if it's from relief or regret, I watch the red-head skip through life.

"If only everything was that easy." I mumble to myself. Or maybe perhaps I'm proclaiming it to the world, it's just that no one is ever there to listen. With another drown out sigh I turn my attention to the end of the hall where the women's bathroom is located. I walk to the door at a slow pace, not in a hurry I have no reason to be I have a free period. I have all the time in the world. But no amount of time could prepare me for what I was about to witness. I opened the door to find a horrific sight.

"What the fuck Jade!?"

There she was. Perhaps the strongest, bravest, yet brassiest woman in the entire school staring into the mirror with a needle in her arm. She looked so weak and fragile, yet happy and relieved. The satisfaction on her face was so evident, yet so...so...sickening. I didn't want to look at her. Whether it was her sullen eyes, or her newly thinned features, or even the veins that now rippled under the skin of her left arm, I couldn't look at her. It was too painful; whatever she was doing it was too much for me.

" Veg..e..Vga" She slurs out as she slides the needle away from her vein. She looked at me with a gratified smile and glossed over eyes. "Do not fr...frhk fuck outp. I'm haven fun."

"God Jade." I mutter moving towards her carefully, keeping my eye on the sharp needle. "What are you doing to yourself?" It was phrased very much so as a question, but it was stupid for me to ask. There's no way she could answer me; she was too far gone, it was no longer her it was something different that possessed her.

" Vega." She gets out almost coherently. " Go awwwway! You ruinin the buzz." There's that stutter again. She's just so...so fucked up! It's infuriating! This thing who thinks that she can bitch about everything and then ruin herself.

" Come on Jade we're leaving." I demand of her. With a new sense of bravery I rip the emptied needle from her hands and throw it in the trash can.

" What th..." I cut her off by gripping her right forearm tightly. She winces slightly at the pressure, but does nothing else.

" Shut the fuck up and come with me." Strangely she complies without hesitation. She doesn't even complain as I drag her through the halls. The most she does is stare around the school and occasional open her mouth in awe.

" Tori we go home?" She ask as I rush her through the front door of Hollywood Art into the parking lot.

Tori. The name echoes in my mind. Tori, Tori, Tori! She's never called me that in the two years I've known her. It's always Vega or some derogatory term that, as much as I hate to say it, hurts. She doesn't call me Tori, but in this moment her using my name causes something to snap within me. As much as I want to slap the shit out of this pandea, I can't; she sounds so broken and lost, but giddy, almost like a sad Cat.

"Come on Jade." I loosen my grip and slide my hand so I'm now gripping her wrist. I look into her dilated eyes and shake my head in disappointment. So much talent, wasted. I open the door to my silver Volvo s60. " Let's go home."

* * *

That's chapter two. I have idea if this will really be a Jori romance or just a close friendship due to the two characters recovery. Anyway chapters will be coming as frequently as possible so hopeful one a week or every other week. Also I apologize for any grammatical errors, my computer crashed so all of this is written with the aid of an iPod. Until next time-

JKJOKER


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious

Chapter 3: Expectations Go To Hell

Tori P.O.V.

I waited, no, no I paced around her house (if you can even call it that, the place was so massive) for five excruciating hours. I thought about leaving, trust me, I thought about abandoning her and acting like I had never seen a thing, but there was no possible way I could do that. There is no possible way that I can reverse what I've seen today. I just can't bring myself to walk out that door, and even with all her constant bitching I still can't find the strength to leave her.

"Not when she's like this." I mutter without thought. And that becomes my motto. Every time I want to walk out that door and forget, I just keep saying it over and over again. "Not when she's like this, not when she's like this, not when she's like this." And the vicious cycle repeats itself over and over again and no matter what the result is always the same; I stay. I stay because of who she is and because of who I am. She's too broken and I'm too noble to look the other way. Plus I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I left; friends are supposed to stick around even when shit gets tough, you know?

"You didn't have to stay." The voice cold, distant and dreary, interprets my thoughts. Slowly, ever so slowly, I turn to face the cause of this all. The very cause of my inter-turmoil stands as she normally would, characteristic smirk and all but I can't help but feel like something is lost; something is different. Her typical intimidating features are now softened and she looks almost fragile, like a porcelain doll. She's nothing but a shell and she's most certainly not 'my' Jade, figuratively speaking of course. Fumbling I finally respond.

"I couldn't leave until you woke up, that would have been cruel." And in an instant the previous guards that were laid to rest are no back up. The vulnerability I once saw is now extinguished and has been replaced with hate, resentment, and anger; so basically Jade's normal look, but still something is different.

"We're not friends so just fucking leave." Her voice grows dangerously low and her steel eyes cut into my own.

"Listen, I'm not leaving until you tell me what the heck is going on." I retort holding my ground as she steps slightly closer to me. I'm not going to be a pushover today.

"Well don't get your hopes up Vega cause I'm not telling you shit. Get the fuck out before I make you get out." Her predatory stare holds my own and I'm at a loss for words because it is the first time in a long time that I've had a chance to look at her, the real her. I can see all the hate and confusion swirling within her bloodshot eyes and I can't help but fell complete sympathy for her will being scared shitless by her bloody glare. I open my mouth to speak but her gaze falters and she shoots away from me and out of the living room.

"What the hell?" I grumble as I hear her trample along the hallway. "Don't run away from me! What kind of big, bad West runs away from me?" I partiality taunt and partially ask as a serious question. I mean like seriously what the hell? Why would she run off like that? My curiosity leads me to follow her down the now claustrophobic, dark hallway. It isn't until I hear a horrid gagging that I fully understand why she ran away from me. I rush to the open doorway and find her collapsed on the white tile, clutching the toilet like it's the only thing that can save her. "Fuck, Jade are you okay?"

"Go away." She mutters with little strength.

"Jade, I'm not leaving you." With a surge she trashes out and slams the door in my face.

"Go away!" A rather agitated Jade screams.

I step back into the hallway, but don't halt my attempts to get her to open up. Bit by bit I turn the door knob and open the stained oak door. I step inside and cross the fairly modern bathroom, crouching to be at level with the raven-haired girl crumpled up on the floor.

"Jade what happened to you?" The tenderness in my voice even comes as a surprise to me. She stares at me with dull eyes and I repeat my earlier question. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing." She starts out soft, but then the inferno is lit. "Nothing happened to me Vega! I'm perfectly fine so leave me the hell alone." She tries to stand but has to use the porcelain throne as a crutch to support her visibly shaking body. "I didn't ask for you goddamn help and I don't need it either. Just get the fuck out since you already ruined my high." She finishes off and storms out of the bathroom. Shaking my head I exit as well but I don't follow her. As nosey as I may be I have come to learn when Jade has reached her limit and as of right now she's past it by double. I grab my purse form the couch and head towards the door.

"I'll get Beck to drop off your car." Without waiting for a response I pull open the front door and walk out, making sure to slam it loud enough so that she can hear my rather dramatic exit.

The fresh, clean air of L.A. wisps against my face and for the first time in hours I feel like I can breathe; the burden of imposing decay has now been lifted and I'm able to relax. I pull out my phone and go straight to my contacts, searching for one name and one name only. Beck.

'_Can we talk?'-Tori_

After sending the fairly vague message I prance down the steps and crawl into the cabin of my car, starting her up. The purr of the engine makes me hum in admiration as I wait for my phone to buzz. Within a minute I get my response.

'_Yea, sure. What do you want to talk about? O_O'-Beck_

'_Jade…'-Tori_

The word tumbles around in my mind as I wait for a reply, Jade, Jade, and Jade.

'_Umm okay. Come to the trailer and we can talk, kay?'_

With that I place my car in reverse and shot out of Jade's circular driveway. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to say to him but something has to be done. I can't let her stay like this. I roll into his driveway and hurry to turn off Ethel (that's what I named my car :] ). I walk towards the shiny airstream, a sense of anxiousness rising from the pit of my belly. I rap on the door softly and wait for an answer. A muffled "coming" floats to my ears and moment later he's standing in an open doorway, running a hand through his locks. A genuine smile is plastered on his and it breaks my heart. I can't be the one to tell him about his…girlfriend.

"I can't do this." I blurt. Panicking, I turn and walk away too terrified to expose the truth.

"Tor, wait. What happened?" He places a vice grip upon my wrist and I'm unable to escape even if he eased up because he pleading eyes now have me frozen. "What happened?"

"Jade's not well." It's all I can get out of my constricting throat and confusion quickly finds its way onto his face.

"Is she…is she pregnant?" He struggles out.

"No! Oh god no! She's not pregnant, or at least I don't think she is but that's something for you guys to talk about." His features remain stagnant.

"Then what's the problem?" Words run through my mind at a thousand miles a second but nothing other than gargles come out as my answer. Frustration weasels its way into Beck and it isn't long before he snaps at me. "If you're not going to say anything just leave. I have shit to do Tori." Moments pass oozing with tension before I finally speak up.

"She's doing drugs Beck. Hard drugs and she's really messed up." I respond somberly. My tone is low and I avert my eyes as soon as the words flow out of my mouth. An eerie silence settles over us and I feel like I can hear the still air move. Then he chuckles.

"I know that. God I thought it was something bad." He continues to chuckle flipping his bronze hair as well.

"That's not bad?" I ask slightly outraged, but too frozen to speak. Maybe I heard him wrong. "That's not bad?" This time it's a whisper.

"No it's not. We all do it, so don't worry about it." He blows me off and turns to go back into his RV.

"How are you okay with this? How can you let her do that to herself?" I can't even understand why. If I had been him I would have forced her to stop, not let her keep doing that shit. She would be safe and she would be happy because I would be there for her, through thick and thin. "If I were you I would-."

"You would what?" He rounds a dangerous glimmer in his eyes. I know I'm treading in dangerous waters but still something has to be done. "You would what Tori?"

"I would…well you know I w..would-." I stutter, not really prepared to answer him. I never expected Beck to actually throw it in my face.

"That's right, you wouldn't do shit because you don't even know what to do. Tori you really don't need to be telling me what to do with my fucking girlfriend." He bits back, crowding my space so that he can tower over me. Everything snaps.

"Fuck you Beck! When she ends up permanently fucked up then it will be you goddamn fault!"

"How is any of this my fucking fault? It's her body, her life; I have no right to stop her even if I wanted to." He roars back.

"You're just letting her! And frankly you're not just sitting on the sidelines, you're acting like a fucking cheerleader. You think it's fucking okay and you're just letting her throw her life away." I scream in his face, which causes a strange smile to spread across his face.

"Stop being a damn drama queen for five seconds and think about what you're saying?" He counters with a smile but he still sounds mad as hell. "Who are you to even say shit to me? Are you and Jade friends?"

"Well not exactly."

"Have you known Jade for four years?"

"Well no.."

"That's right." He clarifies. "You don't even know her and she couldn't give two fucks about you. Don't be so naïve Tori," He places a hand on my shoulder, which I try to shrug off. "Just leave her be, she knows what she's gotten herself into and if she wants out she'll come to me."

"How can you say that?" It's a weak and final plea.

"If she wanted out than she would stop using. If she wants it, I'm not going to deny her. That's just the way supply and demands works." He says somberly, turns around and enters his RV locking the door behind him.

* * *

**Soooo, shit happens. Actually I've been pretty busy with school work and other sorts of joyful things that students have to endure. Oh and my pal Karla lost the first two pages so I didn't have half of my paper draft. I know that this is super late but better late than never, am I right? . And I didn't proof read either, my bad. So basically apologies all around and I'll update soon. Until next time-**

**JKJOKER (aka SG for those that know)**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious

Chapter 4: The only way out (Dive deeper)

Jade P.O.V.

"So why the fuck did Vega show up at my house today to tell me that you're fucked up?" Beck's voice sounds so unfamiliar over the phone. He sounds cold and distant nothing like he is when we're together. When we're together he's loving and he doesn't care about the rest of the world, just me. But yet he sounds harsh and hateful.

"Hell if I know. It's not like I asked her to go to you." I respond to him; oddly enough my voice is incredibly even. It's been two hours since the brown-haired pest left my house and I couldn't be more grateful, although I am a little pissed that she went to Beck. Like on some real shit why would you do that? What right does she have spreading what I do as an extracurricular activity? Not that I care all that much, I mean come on I'm a bitchy, sarcastic, tough Goth, would it really surprise you if I did drugs every once in a while? Not that I'm proud, of course I'm not, but it's just the way life is. "Listen, I don't want to fight so ca-"

"I don't want to fight either babe but just tell me what the hell happened." He counters. On the other end of the phone I can hear him moving around in his RV.

"She caught me." Plain and simple.

"Caught you doing what?" He inquires with true honesty.

"What do you think Beck?" I yell at him. What the world doesn't know is that each and every one of our fights is a direct result of this kind of stupidity. What the public sees as me constantly snapping at Beck but what it really happens is me reaching my breaking point due to his idiocy. I love him but sometimes he is too much; when he asks questions like this it makes me want to explode.

"Well if I knew why would I ask? Dammit Jade I'm just trying to get some fucking answers I don't understand why you're going to be mad when you're the one being too vague."

"I'm being too vague?"

"Yes you are." An odd silence falls over us; it's neither despised nor wanted but it just hangs there. It may have been seconds, minutes, or even hours before I hear him sigh. "I'm sorry Jade, I should never snap like that." I remain silence and he takes that as his cue to continue. "Now please just…just tell me what happened."

"She caught me-" The very words of my reality hurt. I don't think I really ever thought about what I was doing, I never put any thought into it, I always figured that was just my life. Life with drugs, life with happiness, it's what I wanted. "She caught me shooting up this morning." The words bring a new relief with them but also a new burden, it's as if I've and a fifty pound weight lifted from my shoulders only to have a hundred pounds replace it.

"I'm sorry I don't think I quite understood that. What did she catch you doing?" He sounds naïve but he's not; he knows damn well what I said.

"Shooting up…" I seethe through my teeth. "At school, she caught me shooting up."

"How could she catch you?"

"Umm she walked through the door and saw me. She took me home"

"She took you home? Why didn't you fucking tell me, do you know the shit I can get in for this? How could you be so stupid!"

"I wasn't paying attention; I thought I locked the door but apparently I didn't and she just waltzed in." My blood pressure rises and I feel my face getting hot when the magnitude of his words hit me. "How could I be so stupid? It was an honest mistake Beck, everyone has them!"

"An honest mistake, really a honest mistake? Her dad is a fucking cop! Do you kn-"

"Beck shut the fuck up, okay? Just shut up. This fucking yelling match isn't doing much more than adding to my already gigantic headache, so shut…the...fuck...up."

"Jade don't tell me to shut up. Do you know the shit he can do to m-"

"Beck listen to me. The only thing Vega can do is expose me, just me. Her daddy isn't gonna find any shit on you so calm your ass down. He's never going to find out about you." My voice shakes almost as bad as my hands are shaking; fucking side effects.

He sighs and I can just imagine what he's doing right now. He's probably sitting on his bed starring at something that's nonexistent and fidgeting. When he's upset he has difficulties staying still; honestly it's the most I've ever seen him react to something, he doesn't go out and punch stuff or people, he doesn't go work out, he doesn't break down and cry; all he does is sit and fidget. In all the years I've known Beck I've come to the conclusion that there are things I will never understand about him, he will always remain somewhat of a mystery.

"Babe you know that I love you right?" I don't want to answer. Things have been rough lately and I'm not actually sure that he loves me anymore. I know I'm a bit of a handful but he seems to want less and less to do with me. Ever since he started hanging out with some group of guys from UCLA, he hasn't been around and even when he is around he's not the same. I know it sounds hypocritical but he's fucked up. Like the only thing that matters anymore is the drugs, the parties, the money it's like our love was never there; like I was never there.

"I-I don't know anymore." The words crook out of my mouth with more pain than I expected.

"Jade I care about you, I love you it's just that- I love you I swear but…"

"But?" Here comes the pain.

"But I also care about myself and my future."

"What's that supposed to mean?!" God I sound like Cat.

"It means I can't get in trouble because of your fuck ups. I have so much to deal with." Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me? Is this asshole serious? He's more concerned with his own image and safety that he doesn't even give two fucks about me anymore.

"You don't love me you bastard!"

"Jade." He warns like I'm some sort of child that he has full control over.

"Oh don't fucking scold me, I'm not a fucking kid. I thought you cared about me Beck, I thought you were the one I was meant to be with but you're not the same guy anymore. I fell in love with a gentle sweet boy not the asshole you have become."

"Don't try to turn this on me Jade, I'm not the one-"

"Not the one doing what? You do everything I do and then some more. I followed you because I put my trust in you; I believed what you told me and look where I am now. Don't think you're a damn saint Beck because you're no better than the rest of the strung out people in this world, in fact you're worse because you encourage it."

"I don't force anything on anyone."

"But you encourage it! You supply it! You feed the obsession Beck! You may not be the only one to blame but you are not free of guilt." Anger is rushing through my blood and I can't do anything to stop the words that are coming out of my mouth. Although the words are cruel I kind of feel like it needs to be said. I don't think that Beck understands what he is or what he's doing.

"Do you want to break up?"

"What?"

"Do you want to break up? Yes or no Jade." A long pause follows his question.

"If I wanted to leave I would have left by now."

"Yes or no?" I'm so unhappy but I'm so safe with him. My place is by him, a role or not, it's at his side like it has been for the past three years.

"No."

"Good, now let's put this stupid ass argument behind us and go back to the way things were. You make me happy and I know I make you happy so there's no point in being angry."

"But don't you think we have some issues that maybe we should talk about?"

"Not really." He whispers. "There's nothing to talk about anymore and I don't want to hear it."

"You really didn't listen to a thing I said, did you?"

"Now that's not true-"

"Yes it is. You didn't listen to me at all. I may not want to break up but I think maybe we have to."

"Why?"Again his words are a whisper.

"Because you hurt me more than you make me happy." And that's it. That's the way I've been feeling for the past few months. The good times with Beck are really great and I love him but the sweet moments have lost their potency, I don't think their enough to outweigh the shitty times. Things have really changed between us and I'm sure there's anything else for me to salvage from our broken and torn relationship, not even a friendship. Over the past few months Beck has become a dealer to me and not much more, the sex is sloppy, the kisses chaste and our time together limited; nothing like it used to be. I think I knew that I lost my boyfriend a long time ago but I don't think I was ready to accept it. I don't think that I could have taken the pain and frankly I'm not sure I can take it now.

"But we're us. We're not always happy that's just our chemistry."

"I don't want us anymore. I don't want to hurt anymore."

"Jade I know that we have our ups and downs but come on this is stupid. You know were meant to be together, we work."

"No we don't, not anymore….It's over."

"But-"

"Beck…I love you but I can't do this anymore. We're broken and I don't think that we can keep doing this; I can't keep doing this. You will always have a place in my heart but you don't have my heart anymore. Take care of yourself Beck."

"If you hang up that fucking phone don't expect me to come back to you."

"I won't."

"Jad-" I end the call before he can even finish.

It's only moments before the entire situation hits me in the face. Tears well in my eyes as every possible emotion overwhelms me. I'm scared, I'm angry, I'm happy, I'm relieved, I'm disappointed, I'm embarrassed. I want it all to go away and I just want to feel numb. Without any thought I stand up and walk over to my bag. I take out all my books and fish out the gear from the bottom. I'm about to fix myself when there is a slight knock on my door. If fumble with the small bag of heroin but quickly toss it back in my bag before the door opens.

"Jadelyn I'm going out to a business dinner so don't do anything-"She pauses when I turn around to face her. "Oh gem, come here." It was the first time in years she called me that and whether it was the tracks of my tears that caught her off guard or the fact that I didn't have a sarcastic remark she didn't leave me that night instead she stayed.

* * *

**A/N- I think that Jade should have a somewhat sympathetic mother since I envision her as not having self control. Anyway apologies as usual I'm a slightly, more than not, terrible person. I'll update when I can but you know how life gets so don't necessarily hold me to it. Reviews and anything of that nature are always welcome. So until next time-**

**JKJOKER**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious

Chapter 5: Live Like We're Dying

Tori P.O.V

The week passed rather quickly after my encounter with Jade then Beck. To say the least I was astonished that my friends, especially Jade, were actually doing _stuff_ like that. I know that it's common in high school but come on! All of us are trying to make it big and actually do something with our lives, there's no reason to do drugs and fuck that all up. And maybe that's the shit that made me take the situation so seriously.

It was obvious from that moment I set foot into Hollywood Arts that Jade was the, for lack of better words, head bitch. At first glance the girl was stunning, and as you got to know her, more aspects of beauty became prevalent. Although cold and sarcastic, Jade was a wonderful person when she wanted to be; those rare moments of kindness just made her seem…inhuman, too beautiful to be like everyone else. Add that to her vast amount of talent and limitless confidence and it seems like nothing can stop the girl; nothing but the drugs. Jade was someone I had come to envy yet praise at the same time, but now I'm not so sure. It's not that I think poorly of her now, it's just that I pity her and I don't want to become like her anymore. She had, and maybe still has, it all but she's just throwing it away like it meant nothing in the first place. Every opportunity, every talent, everything is just…gone.

Rather than dwelling in my thoughts any longer I close my wallet from my locker, stuff it in my bag and head out to the grub truck. I exchange my four dollars for a nice salad and a bottle of water then walk over to my table. By the time I get there André has already claimed a seat.

"Hola amigo!" His greeting with his sweet baritone calms me a bit.

"It's amiga André." I giggle setting my salad down and taking a seat next to him. "I'm a girl so it has a feminine ending."

"Are you sure?" He questions.

"Ummm…let's see, who's the half Latina at this table?" André answers my rhetorical question by hanging his head but giving a slight chuckle. "Yea that's what I thought. So….where's everyone else?"

Picking his head up André gives a thousand watt smile as his silent apology and responds.

"Well Robbie and Cat are working on some special effects for the junior prom, Beck is running lines for some play, and Jade's been MIA since Tuesday because of the break up so that just leaves you and I."

"Oh that makes sense, I thought that maybe y'all just started to hate each other."

"Not everyone is like Jade, Tor." He says, chuckling. Although his tone is teasing it still stings a bit. "Anyway-" He starts in response to my silence. "Since we both have a free period next period I was thinking that maybe you could help me with my song for music theory."

"If it's a theory class why do you have to compose something?"

"According to Kane, it's to show we actually learned something we can apply to our music. So whatya say, wanna help me out?" He looks up at me with pleading, chocolate eyes and I feel myself unraveling. I could never say no to him.

"I guess I, wait didn't Jade agree to help you?" I offer as one last ditch effort to get out of having to work. I'm not lazy, I swear, but sometime I just like a little down time, you know to lay low and release some stress.

"I told you she's been gone since Tuesday, like she doesn't come to school, doesn't answer her phone and doesn't even answer the door. I asked Beck to go talk to her and he said she wouldn't even come downstairs. She just made her mom open the door and tell Beck that she was feeling ill. I'm starting to think the chick is pregnant."

"Andre! Don't say stuff like that!" I swat him harshly on the arm for saying such a thing. "Maybe she just doesn't feel well and she doesn't want to talk to us." Or maybe she's in detox.

"Damn, I'm just saying it's weird even for Jade." He defends.

"You know that's exactly how gossip starts. What if Jade comes back and she hears that from some freshmen; she'll snap the poor kids neck."

"I think it's more likely that she would stab them with some scissors, but okay I won't bring it up again."

"Thanks." With that we settle into a comfortable silence, enjoying our meals and each other's company. A few minutes before the end of lunch he turns to me and smiles like he knows something I don't.

"What?" I inquire, taking the bait.

"You never answered my question."

"About?" I say lifting my water bottle to my mouth, taking a sip.

"Helping me out." He states. "It won't take long I swear, I just need you to help me record it and then you're done."

"Which translates to I need you to help me finish the second verse, find something that rhymes with oranges, find what's missing in the melody, sing the lyrics through seven times, record the song, watch you edit it only to scrap the entire thing and then do it all over again until you think you did a mediocre job which means it's practically perfect." I finish taking in a large amount of air at the end.

"Soo…you'll do it?" He says hopeful.

"Andre! I just want some me-time! You know like time for me and only me." I yell exasperated. I love Andre but sometimes the kid makes me want to shoot someone, preferably him.

"Alrighty then you don't have to do it, but before you go have your me-time how about you tell me what's eating you." He says with a knowing smile.

"Ahh…I don't know what you're talking about."

"Tor cut the crap I know when something is bothering you so just spill. It's not like I'm gonna tell anyone. I think the Sweater and Cardigan issue proved my loyalty." With a sigh, I relinquish my restraint.

"Umm okay I'm gonna tell you but it's going to be kinda vague."

"Vague?" He questions, confused.

"Yea vague because I can tell you what's going on but I can't exactly tell you every detail."

"Okay shoot."

"Okay… so hypothetical person A-" André erupts in laughter interrupting my speech.

"Hypothetical person A?" His laughter continues and I can't help but be irritated with him. "R- reallyy?"

"Yes really! Dammit André do you want me to tell you or not?" I counter, venom dripping from my lips.

"Y-y-yea go ahead amigo."

"It's amiga, with and A!"

"Like hypothetical person A." He teases dissolving in what can only be described as girly giggles.

"Andre, can you just listen to me?" He nods as his giggles slow. "Okay so hypothetical person A is not exactly a close friend but I do care about her very much."

"Mmm Tori remember what happened the last time you 'cared' about a girl who wasn't really into you." He warns. Mortified I slap my hand over his mouth before he can say anything else.

"Andre keep your voice down I'm not out yet you ass." I screech. Slowly, I remove my hand from his mouth.

"Woops sorry, but I don't understand why you just don't get it over with."

"This isn't about my…my sexuality, okay? It's just a friend caring about another friend." I pause and he nods in understanding. After collecting my thoughts I continue. "So person A is not necessarily a close friend but I feel like I should be doing something. Basically I found out that she's been doing drugs and just felt like…like it's my job to get her to stop or at least talk to the person that could get her to stop. So I did. I went to hypothetical person B but it didn't exactly work out like I had planned. Person B just kind of blew me off and told me not to worry about her, that she had everything under control and if she didn't she would go get help on her own."

"Is she doing any better?" André asks with concern shining through his unguarded eyes.

"That's the thing, I'm not really sure. She won't answer my calls or texts, she hasn't been around me since the incident and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. A part of me thinks she's distant because she's getting help while another part just… just feels like she's letting herself slip further and further into the hole." I drop my head to the table and pull my knees to my chest. "I don't know what to do André. She's a great person but she doesn't want my help."

"Sometimes people are just too proud to see the truth in their lives." He lifts his hand and rubs circles on my back. "Don't worry too much about the situation. Realistically there's nothing you can do." I lift my head and stare at him through my clouded vision.

"I wasn't raised to sit on the sidelines and watch someone wreak themselves, André." I crook.

"I know, but this isn't your battle."

"So you're suggesting I just let her go down a dark path?" I counter with venom.

"No I'm not. What I'm saying is just wait and see what happens. Remember that you have your own life to live and you can't be bogged down with someone else's recreational activities. Maybe it was a onetime thing for some fun and you just happened to be there."

"I'm starting to wonder if you even this is serious."

"Okay, personally I don't think that drugs are all that terrible. The shit is fun but I don't use them often, like in the past year I can count the amount of times I've used them on one hand." Andre's confession earns a gasp from me. "Listen I don't condemn using drugs moderately, but I do feel like there's a problem if you use constantly. From what you told me you're not really sure about the circumstances surrounding the problem, so at this point I wouldn't label it a problem."

"But I'm almost certain that she's developed some level of dependence."

"Okay so what drug was she using?"

"I don't really know but it was something that was a liquid. She had to put it in a needle and inject herself." Just speaking of the incident causes the memory to come rushing back. I shudder at the thought of Jade sticking the needle into her pale, porcelain skin.

"Mhmm that could be a lot of things so I think you should just chill out." Although he's words were meant to comfort me they did nothing to ease my tensions. "Tori stop worrying about something that you can't fix. Live your own life and don't think about others so much. Listen there's a party tomorrow night how about you come with me and we can unwind, like old times."

"Ugh I don't know. The party scene isn't exactly my place."

"I know but just come out with me this one time, it'll be fun." I give him a still unconvinced look. "Please!" He begs. "Please, please, please! Oh great Latina I beg you to grace me with your presence tomorrow night. I swear I'll never ask you for anything else if you go." His words cause a smile to replace my skeptical frown.

"Fine you idiot I'll go."

"Yes!" He jumps up victoriously, pumping his fist in the air like he just won the lottery. Laughing I grab his wrist a pull him back down to the table.

"Chill out bro it's not like we're celebrating our last night of freedom." I tease.

"Hey I just like to live like we're dying." The bell loudly chimes through the speakers in the asphalt café André climbs out of the table and collects our garbage as he turns to leave. He flashes me one last cheeky smile. I respond with a smile of my own and get up to walk with him, but he lifts a hand to stop me. Students file into the school and I can't figure out why he's having us staying out here.

"Andre what's go-"

"Tori if I were you I wouldn't worry about Jade all that much." His words hit me like a freight train and I stand stunned while he enters the school leaving me alone.

* * *

**A/N: Yet another chapter is finished and I did it in a timely manner. I do apologize for any grammitical errors, I hate to proof read so I just don't do it. Anyway thank you to all who reviewed and followed my story. Until next time**

**-JKJOKER**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious

Chapter 6: Courtesy Call

Tori P.O.V.

"Hey Jade, it's me. Umm just a heads up I'm on my way to your house to drop off some homework. So…ah yea I'm going to be there in like twenty minutes and you better open up the door, or not, whatever. Ahh so I guess I'll see you soon so bye." I hang up my pearphone and climb into my car. As the silence of envelopes me I finally take a breath. Finally the day is over and I'm able to just have a moment to myself. It's not that I don't love my friends or my school but it's just a lot to keep up with; all the talent in this school can be so overwhelming and everyone is so high maintence it just steals my energy.

I start up Ethel and place her into park. As I'm rolling towards the exit of the parking lot Beck dashes out in front of my car. I slam the brakes and roll down my window.

"What the hell Beck? I could have hit you!" I scream at him.

"But you didn't." He says with a cocky smile.

"Fucking asshole." I mutter.

"What was that?" He inquires striding over to my car. He leans on my window and flashes another smile. "So where ya going?"

"What does it matter to you?" I spit rather coldly at him. Ever since the whole incident at the RV, Beck has lost my respect. With our friends I act like nothing happened but I seriously have no issue treating him like the scum he is when we're alone. Just seeing his sleazy smile makes my skin quiver and my blood boil. He's just been so pompous and creepy lately.

"Well I wouldn't ask if I didn't care." He counters leaning down so he's at eye level with me. "Listen I know you're going to Jade's so cut the crap."

"I..a..I wouldn't….no." I sputter.

"Yea you are so just deliver a message for me. The her the party is tomorrow night and that I'll be there to pick her up around 9:30, 9:45 give or take ten minutes."

"I don't think she wants to go with you." I challenge glaring into his eyes. "Maybe she doesn't want to go at all."

"I highly doubt that but say she doesn't want to go with me, will you go with me?" He charms with a dangerous glint in his eyes.

"What the fuck Beck!" I bellow, outraged. How dare he try and use me as a rebound and completely abandon Jade.

"Oh yea I completely forgot that you're Ryder's girl." He says watching me as my blood runs cold. I scowl at him and tighten my grip on the steering wheel. "What? You thought that none of us knew? Oh please nobody in this fucking school thinks you're an innocent little girl Vega. Actually from what I've heard you're quite the tease." He mocks. "Why don't you just fuck him?" He adds to my horror. Without a second glance the bronze-skinned devil walks away.

"Fucking dick." I mumble slamming on the gas pedal so I can get as far away from him as possible.

By the time I get to Jade's dark house I've had about eight mood swings. I'm angry, I'm sad, I'm disappointed, I'm broken, I'm happy and I'm scared. Everything Beck said is true and but that doesn't make it any less painful; in fact it only makes me feel worse. Honestly I'm not any better than the hussy Beck made me out to be. But rather than face my own inner demons I get my shit together and walk towards the large wooden door. I ring the doorbell and wait for Jade to answer, although I highly doubt that she will. I'm about to ring it again when a woman that looks like an older and shorter version of Jade without the make-up swings the door open.

"Umm hi." I greet awkwardly, taken back by the older woman's resemblance to Jade. "Are you Jade's sister or something?"

"Awe you're too sweet. I'm actually her mother." Her warm words and slightly southern accent cause me to frown. Seriously this woman is too nice to have any relation to Jade. "Gem didn't say that she was expecting any friends." She says, her bright smile faltering just a touch.

"Gem?"

"Jade is a gem sweetheart and my little Jadelyn is my very own gem." She says with a soft smile. Again how the fuck could Jade ever be the child of such a sweet woman. And her mom talks about her like she's the single greatest bundle of sunshine on the freaking Earth.

"Oh I understand now. Well Jade and I aren't exactly close friends so…" I trail off as my voice falter. "Umm anyway I'm just here to drop off some homework for her. Ah thanks for your time Mrs. West." I say placing a folder into her hands and turning to get the hell out of there.

"Wait!" Dammit. I turn around to face the woman who gave birth to the bane of my existence. "Have you noticed anything odd about my daughter lately?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary; Jade is as cold and sarcastic as ever." I state bitterly.

"Now wait a minute don't talk about my daughter like that you don't know what she's been through."

"I'm sorry but Jade has been nothing but negative towards me since my very first day, so it's really hard me to say something nice about her."

"You're that girl, aren't you? Umm…Vega or something?"

"Tori actually, Vega is my last name, but that's what Jade calls me no matter what." I reply in a dull voice.

"You know you're the only one that's ever given my baby girl a run for her money. As harsh as she is on you it's only because you intimidate her." She states with a knowing smile as she lazily leans against the door frame.

"Ha me, intimidate Jade?" I scoff unconvinced of anything this woman is saying. "No offense Mrs. West but your daughter doesn't get intimidated, in fact she does most of the intimidating at our school."

"I've known the girl for seventeen years no offense Tori but I think I know my own daughter." She counters making me want to regret my previous comment. "Jade is a difficult person to figure out but she does everything she does with a purpose. Tori, I know that I don't know you very well and neither does Jade but I need you to tell me what you know about my daughter. You can possibly believe that I think you're oblivious."

"I don't actually know mu-" I start only for Mrs. West cuts in.

"I don't care if it's something I really would hate to hear so save yourself the trouble, dear. How 'bout you just come inside, I'll make some tea, set out some sweets and we can talk." Her musical voice sounds so blunt and I finally regonize a little bit of Jade in her character. Mrs. West continues when I remain silent. "Glad that's settled. Please come in Tori." She ushers me inside, pushing me ever so slightly so I won't make a break for it. As I walk into the front room, she closes the front door and motions for me to sit in the living room.

"I'll be right back, dear." I nod and she quickly leaves the room.

"This place is so lifeless." I mutter looking around the home. Everything in this house just seems so impressive and brilliant yet it's so cold. It's so staged and so empty that it just makes me feel lonely.

"Feels empty, doesn't it?"

"Huh?" I whirl around to the source of the voice. Mrs. West stands at the opposite end of the room with a tray of sweets and tea.

"The house, it feels empty." She says crossing the room and setting down the tray on a small coffee table. Clearing her voice, Mrs. West falls back onto the couch behind her. She glances around the room as I lower myself onto the same couch. With a sigh she gives up her search and turns slightly so she can face me. "It's hasn't felt warm in here for years."

"I guess." I casually reply, grabbing my tea off the tray and taking a sip of the golden liquid.

"You know what I think. I think that Jade needs someone like you in her life." She says making me choke on my tea. "Geez girly, don't freak out." She chuckles as she rubs my back to soothe my coughing.

"I'm sorry…I…Just." I struggle to get out through my coughs. "That was just unexpected." I finish with a raw voice and sheepish grin.

"I didn't mean to freak you out or anything but realistically you would be perfect for my daughter. You're pretty, you're smart and you're stubborn. When Jade first told me about her sexuality I was slightly skeptical but girls like you make me think it's for the better."

"Wait, Jade is gay?" I question.

"Not entirely. Jade is bisexual but lately she seems to be more interested in girls." She calmly clarifies.

"Oh I didn't know that." I whisper not really sure what to think since I've never really thought about Jade being interested in anyone other than Beck.

"Well I guess you know now but you didn't hear it from me." She jokes bumping me her shoulder against mine. Her goofy behavior makes me laugh and I finally ease up a bit. "So now that you're in better spirits how 'bout you tell me about my gem?"

"Okay." And I tell her. I tell her everything I know, and I mean everything. From the way Jade has been distant for months, to the bathroom incident, to the recent break up. Mrs. West just sits in silence and seemingly takes everything I say in stride.

"I see. Well my daughter has quite the hole to dig herself out of." She sighs and shakes her head. "I should have known what was going on with her."

"Mrs. West I don't think you could have stopped her even if you wanted to. Jade does what she wants when she wants." I mildly argue. I can help but feel sympathy towards Mrs. West. Some people may argue that she's not a good parent because she didn't notice but no one around Jade did. Hell I wouldn't have known anything was wrong if I hadn't walked in on her shooting up.

"Okay maybe I couldn't stop her but I could have at least been there for her." She crooks out hanging her head with her hands covering her face.

"Honestly there's not-"

"What's going on here?" A dark voice demands, interrupting me. I look up to find Jade no more than a foot away from me.

"Jade!" I squeal when I notice our proximity. "Gosh you scared me." I grip my chest as if the will slow my heartbeat.

"Why are you in my house, Vega?" She asks, her face emotionless.

"I, uhh…I'm here ahh.." I stutter but thankfully Mrs. West comes to my rescue.

"I wanted to meet your girlfriend." Or not. Mortified, both Jade and I whip around to face her mother sporting matching blushes.

"Vega? My girlfriend? Oh please I would rather swallow a bucket of acid than go on a date with Miss Priss." Jade spits back, recovering quickly.

"Hey I'm right here you know." I chirp back.

"Yea Jade show your girl a little more respect." Her mom challenges causing Jade's blush to darken. Jade opens her mouth then closes it again. Rather than offer a retort Jade shoots her mother a glare. The air in the room stiffens as the dynamic duo lock aqua eyes with glares that could probably slice through anyone else. With a sigh and a small chuckle, Jade finally looks away breaking eye contact.

"Hey Tori, why don't you come up to my room for a little bit?" She strains out through a tight smile.

"Umm actually it's getting kinda late so I think I'm going to head home." I frown. It's not like Jade to offer anything to anyone let alone me.

"Nonsense Tori, it's not that late and I would like to spend some time with my….my girlfriend." She says, sending her mother a coy smirk. She beacons me forward and strangely enough I follow her. My mind is saying to get the fuck out of her to avoid any trouble but for some reason my gut is telling me to stay, or at least I think it's my gut.

"Okay." I follow the black clad girl up the stairs and into her bedroom even with images of her tearing me limb from limb flashing through my head. Once we're in her particularly dark and morbid room, the pale girl closes the door and looks at me with a dangerous spark in her unusually stormy eyes.

"What did you tell her?" She utters, her voice dangerously low. All the emotion has faded from her voice and her features. I can't help but be speechless. "I'm talking to you Vega!" She roars. "What did you tell her?" She asks again.

"I didn't…I-nothing!" I shout defensively. She closes the distance between us until we're standing toe to toe and she's looking into my eyes.

"You're a shitty liar, Vega." She whispers before the gap between us closes. I'm not exactly sure how it happened but somehow Jade's lips find mine and no matter how timid the kiss is the amount of emotion present makes it so much more. My stomach fills to the brim with butterflies and this kiss, no matter how chaste, causes a fire to kindle within me. Before anything can become of our moment Jade steps away breaking all contact between us.

"I think you should go home." She utters sounding strangely peaceful. I nod and taking her advice I leave without another word to her or her mother.

* * *

**A/N: I had this chapter done so long ago but since life just likes to get in the way I wasn't able to update, so I'm sorry. Additionally, I did not reread this chapter for spelling and grammatical errors so I guess if it's really that bad just PM me and I'll fix it. Like always reviews of any sort are welcome so don't be afraid to share your thoughts. Until next time- **

**JKJOKER**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Victorious

Chapter 7: Are You Ready?

Tori P.O.V.

"What the fuck were you thinking Tori?" An enraged Andre asks as he paces back and forth. His face is scrunched up in a mixture of disappointment and infuriation.

"Andre I didn't even know it was coming!" I counter. I really didn't have any clue, I mean seriously Jade and I, me and Jade, we just don't mix. But that kiss…that kiss was something, dare I say, special. It was light and gentle yet it was much more passionate than anything I had ever felt from any of my ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends. "There was no warning it just kinda…happened."

"Did you even try to stop her?" He halts his pacing and turns to look at me. He gives me a strange look then shakes his head.

"It isn't like she tried to rape me Andre, it was just a simple kiss." I defend as my blood pressure rises.

"Oh really? If it was just a simple kiss you wouldn't have told me about it. I know you Tori and I know you felt something so spill it."

"Spill what, Andre? There's nothing to share." I stand, crossing the room and standing toe to toe with him. "It was just one fucked up mistake. Jade was probably just really emotional and she didn't know how to react, no big deal." I state with a stone cold face. His nostrils flare as he's about to spit a retort but instead he lets out a sigh.

"I'm impressed." He says with a smile causing my face to fall. "You were able to lie with only the slightest twitch of your left eye. Listen Tori, I'm not really upset or anything it was just a lot to process. I mean it's you and Jade, not something I would have ever expected."

"Dre I didn't expect it either." I slump back down onto my bed and run a hand through my hazelnut locks. "I don't think it was meant to happen either. There hasn't ever been that type of attraction between Jade and I before." I quietly add looking up at him with pleading eyes.

"I get it Tor." He says in a gentle tone. He sits down next to me and softly rubs my back. "I overreacted but come on Tori, if you and Jade get together that takes the two hottest girls in our school off the market." He teases.

"You pig." I playfully slap his arm and he pushes me with his shoulder in response.

"Hey I'm just calling 'em and I see 'em." He says with a smile. "Have you thought about maybe talking to Jade about this?" He asks with a serious note in his voice.

"Hell no! I don't have a death wish." He lets out an airy chuckle at my half joke but his face still remains serious.

"What are you afraid of, Tor?" He questions and honestly I lack the answer. I don't know exactly what I'm afraid of I just know that the possibility of talking to Jade scares me. "You felt something didn't you?" Andre looks at me with a stunned look. "You felt something!"

"Andre shut up! It was nothing." I wail.

"Liar! You totally felt something."

"Maybe I did, but it doesn't matter." I say weakly averting eye contact.

"Tori you have to talk to her. You can't just pretend it didn't happen if it's gonna torture you. If you felt something she probably did too." He argues. He grips my shoulder and turns me so I have to look at him.

"And what if she didn't? What if it was just me?" I snap pushing myself away from my best friend. "I can't bring it up because I don't want to deal with the fucking humiliation. It was a mistake so just forget it." I shout, tears prickling my eyes just begging to be released. "She ruined everything Dre! I can't even be in the same room as her without freaking out."

"So how are you going to go to the party tonight if you can't even be in the same room as her?" He asks with a stern face. His typically soft features are now sharp and his eyes look duller than usual. "If it was just a fucking mistake like YOU said YOU should be able to just let it go." He points out.

"You're right." I add in a quiet voice. And he is right, completely right. I have no reason to worry because it was just a mistake, nothing more nothing less. "Thanks Dre." I say pulling him into a tight hug. "I can't believe I acted that crazy."

"I can. Remember when I fell for Jade." I laugh thinking about the massive crush the boy had on her. "Man that girl is a heartbreaker." He adds with a sweet smile.

"Whatever."

"Tor?"

"Yea?" I look up at him and he stares back at me with compassionate eyes.

"If you and Jade ever like become something…" He gives a small smile. "…be careful. Jade's been Beck's girl for almost four years off and on, I doubt that he'll take the change in stride."

"Andre I'm not looking for a relationship with Jade. I care about her but…" Yea I care about Jade, a lot. She's just one of those people I feel like I should take care of, cherish, but I don't think it's in a romantic way. "But I don't think we have the right chemistry for a relationship. Plus it would be really hard for us." I add with a sad smile because I know even in our current society Jade and I would be frowned upon.

"What do you mean it would be hard? We live in fucking L.A.! Like one of the gayest cities in the world." He bursts, laughing uncontrollably. I smack his arm with a little more force than necessary and whine as he continues with his bout of laughter. Eventually I can't help but chuckle along with him.

"Andre, be serious for a second." I beg as he wipes a tear from the corner of his eye. With a few more snickers he motions for me to continue while he composes himself. "It's not the fact that we're both girls that would be hard; it's that we are who we are." Andre sends me a questioning look with his chocolate eyes, still glossy from his tears. "Jade and I have been seen as enemies since we met, if we were to start dating do you know the amount of shit we would get."

"I don't think that anyone would really care. People change." Andre answers, trying to sound optimistic.

"Dre we both know Jade would get so much crap from everyone. I love that you're trying to be supportive but come on Andre you know you would want to tell Jade she doesn't deserve me because of all the shit she's put me through." I permit a sad smile to fall on my face and I rest a hand on Andre's broad shoulder.

Andre's a good friend for trying to be supportive of me even though I know he wouldn't want me with Jade. Although none of my friends would openly express it I know most of them think I should probably just stay away from Jade. Even before the drugs, Jade and I had quite a stressed friendship; we never got in physical altercations but there wasn't a day that she and I wouldn't argue about something, even the little things became problems between us. Sure I'll do nice stuff for Jade every so often and she may return the favor but there's always an air of resentment that envelopes us.

"We both know that I should just stay away from her the best I can."

"I guess, but really don't let anything stop you from being her if that's what you want. To hell with what everyone else thinks, it's not important. And I'll admit that Jade doesn't deserve a girl as good as you but whatever makes you happy is what I'll support kiddo." Andre wraps his strong arms around my frame and places a small kiss on the top of my head. "Especially if she means you drop Ryder." He quietly adds like he doesn't want me to her. I let out an audiable groan and push on his chest so I can get out of his embrace.

"I thought we weren't going to talk about him anymore." I whine.

"Yea, yea, but come on Tori he's totally using you."

"Well what if I'm using him too." I counter with a bit of rage lacing my voice. "I have no interest in dating Ryder."

"Well you sure as hell don't act like it when you let him go down on you." Andre retorts his voice gaining intensity. "Like seriously he's not even worth your time Tori. There are guys who would give you the world just to spend five minutes with you, why do you need his ungrateful ass?"

"Who? You?" I accuse raising from my bed.

"Don't go there Tori." Andre's voice is low and dangerous; it almost reminds me of Jade's. "Don't accuse me of that type of shit, you're my best friend nothing more, nothing less." He affirms his voice as rigid as his stone cold face. It's strange for me to not see my best friend smiling. Andre has such a light heart and he's so quick to smile but lately everything seems a little backwards. His smiles are harder to earn and he doesn't seem to have the same loving heart I once remember.

Realizing my mistake I hang my head and mentally batter myself.

"I'm sorry Andre I didn't mean to say that. I'm just so stressed and I figured talking about Jade would help but it didn't. Then you started talking about Ryder and all his bullshit and I got a little carried away and I'm really sorry-"

"TorI?"

"Like I'm so sorry because you're a great guy and I should never bogus to you an-"

"Tori."

"You have such a huge heart to deal with all my bullshit. I know it's wearing on you because you don't smile as much anymore and you have all your own shit to deal with too. It's like an endless cycle of nonsense but I'm super-"

"TORI!" He roars.

"Huh?" His roar derails my train of thought and stops my less than stellar rambling apology. I finally pick up my head and see him giving me a soft expression; not exactly a smile or a frown. I can't tell what he's thinking but I can tell by the glimmer in his eyes it must be something amusing.

"You look so stupid when you're rambling." He finally says much to my relief and dismay.

"Hey that's not nice." I cry.

"It wasn't meant to be." He counters with a coy smile. "Anyway since you apologized I forgive you. How about we just drop this dumb conversation and head out to this party?"

"That sounds like a plan. I'm still sorry Dre."I walk over to my closet.

"I know, all is forgiven though." He says as he pulls out his blue pearphone. "Cat just sent me a message saying she needs a ride to the party." He informs.

"Well Mr. Harris if we are going to pick up Cat and arrive at this party in a timely matter I'm going to need you to get the fuck out of my room." I announce with an innocent smile plastered on my face.

"Oh yea.…s..sorry." Andre sputters as he gets off my door and rushes out of my bedroom door. I let out a hardy laugh and prepare for tonight's festivities.

* * *

Jade P.O.V.

"Beck I'm not going to the party. I told you I was grounded." I argue with him over the phone.

"When have you ever been legitimately grounded?" He asks. "And since when have you followed rules? Even if you were grounded, which you're not, you wouldn't give a fuck."

"There's always a first time for everything." I seethe into the phone.

"Don't bullshit me. You better be ready in like twenty minutes, I'm not going to wait for you like last time."

"Great. You know what to just save you some time how about you just go WITHOUT ME!"

"Haha, very funny. Just get ready Jade." He says bitterly before hanging up the phone without so much as a goodbye.

"Asshole." I mutter under my breath. I stride over to my closet and view the array of clothes; Black, black, black, and more black. "I need some fucking color in my wardrobe." I settle with a pair of black skinny jeans, a dark grey v-neck t-shirt, black combat boots, and a black and grey scarf; a very simple, very bland outfit that seems to match my outlook on life. A knock on my door interrupts my thoughts.

"Gem? Can I come in?" It's my mother…great.

"Ah yea…" I breathe out.

"Are you going somewhere?" She questions, cocking her head to the side in a rather Cat-like manner.

"Umm yea…I am." I say trying to sound as uninterested as possible. It's kind of strange having my mother take so much interest into my life. After five years of her being gone I had forgotten what I felt like to have her talk to me, to have her be a part of my life.

"Where?" Her eyes narrow as she looks at me. "You're not going out with that Beck boy are you?" Don't lie, don't lie, don't lie. She doesn't deserve to be lied to, not after all the shit I put her threw this week. She's been my rock throughout it all but she hasn't really pushed anything. She lets me do what I want but at least she acts like a mom and keeps an eye on me. Don't lie, don't lie, don't lie.

"No I'm going to Tori's." Fuck I lied. My mom's face lights up at the mention of Tori's name.

"I like that girl, she's good for you Jade." I raise a studded eyebrow, silently asking her to elaborate. "She's not like any of your other friends; she's nice, smart and caring. You should spend your time with her instead of Beck."

"Ugh mother, just leave it alone." I plead not wanting to hear anymore about Tori. I know that my mother means well but I already hear enough wonderful things about Tori at school I don't need that shit at home too.

"But-"

"Stop. Before you say anything just know that there is nothing, I repeat NOTHING, going on between Tori and I."

"But-"

"Mother, no." I quickly interrupt before she can even say more than a word. "Just leave so I can change." I plead pushing her towards the door of my room.

"Fine, I'll leave." She huffs as she admits defeat and walks out of my room, but pauses in the threshold of my room. "Please be safe tonight."

"Yea, Yea I'll be safe woman." I assure her.

After I'm certain she's gone I quickly strip out of my clothes and dress in my outfit for tonight. After applying a touch of make-up and fixing my hair, I'm ready to go. As I grab my purse I hear the distinct sound of Beck's truck making its way up my driveway. Before my mother can catch a glimpse of Beck, I race out the front door and into his truck, instructing him to drive as soon as I shut the passenger door.

"What the fuck was that all about?" Beck asks me after we've made it out of the driveway and halfway down my street.

"Nothing, just hurry up I want to get to this party as soon as possible."

"Ha you mean you want to get fucked up as soon as possible." He corrects with a dark chuckle. "Don't worry I brought plenty of everything, weed, X, coke, anything I have is yours." He says placing a hand on my jean clad leg. An eerie chill rushes through my body as soon as he makes contact and I squirm to get out of his grasp.

"Beck get your goddamn hands off of me!" I shout ripping his hand away from my thigh.

"What the fuck?" He roars as he throws me a devious glare. "Jade stop being such a fucking bitch."

"I'm being a bitch? Really? Beck we're over, we've been over, I'm not your girlfriend anymore so don't fucking touch me like I am!"

"Who said we were over?" He questions in a dark tone.

"I did. In case you haven't realized it yet I do not want you, so let me say this again so you can get it through your thick skull; we are NOT together."

"Okay." He says in a small voice. He tightens his grip on the steering wheel and he looks dead ahead.

Ugh tonight is going to be a long night.

* * *

**A/N: Late like usual, but it's the summer! Anyway thanks to everyone who has reviewed, followed, etc. It makes me smile all the time. Again I hate to proof read so I don't so I apologize for any grammatical issues. Till next time-**

**JKJOKER**


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